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Humble Inspiration

Pic: Michelle Rozzen

 It's random emails like this that just blow me away and make my day...

"Hi. You don't know me and I didn't know you until I read a interview from you in the surfer magazine Tide. You inspire me to do my own thing. I really admire you. You do with your life what you want to do. It's fantastic. Last night I wrote down what I want from my life because of you. You showed  me with your interview that everything is possible. I live in Switzerland (Europe). but I don't like it here because we havent a ocean. I cant go surf whenever I want to go. I would like to live in the tropics. So maybe I must just be courageous and move into the world. change my place to live. And if my friends say to me, you're crazy I think at your words: "Expect the best, plan for the worst, fuck what others think and do your own thing!"

I hope, you understood my English because I'm not very good in that.  All what I wanted to say was, that you inspire me to do my own thing. to make that my dream comes true.

Thanks :-)

Wish you all the best and just the best waves in the world.


-F.G.

The Great Outdoors: Yosemite

Quick shot up to the amazing Yosemite valley last weekend to celebrate Marc's 40th birthday... couldn't have asked for better weather.  Camp'n, raft'n, BBQ'n, drink'n, hike'n, hot tub'n, laugh'n and pet'n the dog.  Good stuff...

Upper Yosemite Falls and Half Dome

Kates Moss

Stella

Amber looking for a bed

Can you see it?

Half of a Dome

Mind is blown...

This little gem just might be the most amazing form of creative expression any of us will ever see in our lives...  my hat is off to this man and my mind is completely blown from trying to comprehend how much time and energy went into making this... devote the next 10 minutes of your life to watching this...


BIG BANG BIG BOOM - the new wall-painted animation by BLU from blu on Vimeo.

Ventura Newness

New home.  New bed.  New roommates.  New studio.  New route to the beach.  New ideas.  New opportunities. 

I'm OPEN for business & plantin' roots... can you help?

Hello family, friends, acquaintances and complete strangers! 

Spring is about to to be sprung, love is in the air... and the strawberries are big and juicy!   I hope 2011 is exceeding your expectations.  It's exceeding mine... not expecting anything definitely helps!

Sooo... I've decided to hang up my vagabonding hat for a while, say farewell to my beloved, care-free, nomadic lifestyle and nestle into a nice condo in downtown Ventura, California for a year.  Gettin' all responsible. (I know, I know... It's hard for me to believe too) But I had a good run over the last 2.5 years.  The world is an amazing place full of some amazing people... there's still way too much to see and experience and a million more great friends to meet.   We'll see how long I last before my feet start itching for the open road again.

In the meantime, ABEL ARTS WOULD LIKE YOUR HELP.  It's time I buckle down and get to work... seriously.  WORK.  Lots of it.  Artsy projects.  Graphic designy projects.  Top Secret projects.  Anywhere in the world.  It's all fair game... and I'm steppin' up my game.  I've currently got some exciting projects in the fire and a few more goodies on the horizon, but I'm always on the market for more.

If you could do me a big favor and keep your ears and eyes peeled, chances are you, your company, your friend or crazy Uncle are in need of rock solid graphic design and/or some funky unique artwork for the house or office ... if so, be a match-maker and send them my way!  Much appreciated!  And networking will continue to live on!

Abel Arts does it all...  Art, Design, Illustration...

Logos, Brochures, Catalogs, Illustration, Company Branding/Identity, Apparel Graphics, Book Covers, Magazine Layout, Murals, Custom Original Art, Public Art, Web Design, Web Graphics, Posters, Album Artwork, Artwork Licensing, Product Package Design, Product Design, Vehicle Wrap Design, Finger Paintings... you name it, I can do it or know somebody who can. 

I get by with a little help from my friends... and on rare occasions... a cape. 

Cheers,

Erik Abel

I'm not flattered...

Click image to make bigger

Imitation is the most sincere form of flattery right? That's BS. Imitation is the most sincere form of someone lacking creativity looking for an easy way out. Copying something for personal use is one thing... but copying artwork for a commercial project from the artwork of another commercial project, that's downright shameful.

A little while back, artist/designer pal Tom Veiga sent me the image he found of the poster on the right asking if I gave permission for the artist to copy the painting I did for International Surfing Day (on the left). Of course I knew nothing about it. There is no way to contact the artist or the person/company who produced this event or poster. I've tried. Google has finally failed me.

There's a reward for whoever can find the rip-off artist and their contact info. What's the reward? A little drawing or print or something... or maybe just a big high five and a solid hug. Cool?

The Bowels of Travel

Sometimes you win. Sometimes you lose... and get deported.

Most times things go as planned. Smooth, short layovers. Planes and busses are on time. A new security line opens up and you get to bypass 40 people fumbling to get the change out of their pockets. Plenty of time for an over priced beer as you gaze out the window and see your boards being delicately loaded on the plane. Sexy girl with great convo sitting next to you. Traveling is awesome!

But sometimes the evil travel monster bites off your wang, chews it up and spews it all over the rest of your day... or two... or three... or in my case 3 years.

Here's the last 48 hours...

Leave Nic and Jim's place in Margaret River. On way to bus stop, Nic and I decide to go for one last quick beer. Little Creatures Ale Yum! Bus ticket says 4:50pm departure. One quick beer turns into two quick beers. Get to bus stop at 4:48pm. No bus. Call bus Co... Bus left at 4:30pm. WTF?? But my ticket says...???
Have to drive to Bussleton bus stop to try and catch bus. Turn 40 minute drive into 25 minute drive. Interception!
4 hr bus ride to Perth airport. 3 hours early for redeye at midnight:30. Check in, find out flight has magically changed to 11pm. Good thing I was early. WTF??? Kill time with beer. Watch news of Christchurch getting rocked and worry about friends. Sad. Plane on time. One-two winks of sleep on plane. Wonder why they dont just make the seats fixed in the laid back position, which is about a 1 inch difference from the upright position. Idiots. Somebody close to me, maybe even right next to me, is farting the whole way and for once its not me. Gross. Babies... Crying. Arrive in Melbourne at 5am. Drag boards to international terminal. Go through customs and immigration... All clear. Life is good... I'll be in Fiji by 3pm drinking an ice-cold Fiji Gold under a palm tree on the beach... Bitch! Haha not so fast son. Where's da plane, da plane? Missing. 8:40am flight turns into 11am turns into 12:30 turns into 3pm turns into 6pm turns into 8pm flight. Each delay everybody gets free meal and drink vouchers... Including alcohol. Not bad. Smash beers. Wander the airport. Flirt with cute girls with dumb looking boyfriends. Jam guitar. Sleep on floor. "Can I have your attention... We need 13 volunteers to give up their seats... Full ticket refund... We'll get you on a flight tonight to Fiji but have to fly you out of Brisbane." Lucky number 13. Fuck. OK. Count me in. Just get me the hell out of this airport. 12 hours in terminal=Feverish. The 13 reFijis are escorted out of international terminal to domestic terminal. Go through customs and immigration again.... Same airport. Lots of arguing between airline guys and customs guys. Cutting it close to get on flight to Brisbane. Everybody gets passports back but me. Shit. They're all waiting on me. And my boards are not in the reFiji luggage pile. WTF?? Immigration head lady pulls me aside and let's me have it. I'm an illegal alien and have been for about 60 days. WTF?? Plane is gonna leave without us. Get banned from entering Australia for 3 years. I will be Escorted to the international terminal when I land in Brisbane and kicked the fuck out :( Ooopsy daisy. Should've looked into my visa situation from last year. My boards show up. Scramble to check-in all 13 reFijis and blaze thru security. I'm the last person on the plane. They've been waiting. Scowls from everybody as I pass. Think I heard one hiss. Meal/drink vouchers get me a few more beers on plane. Unreal sunset out window. Get a wink. Brisbane landing. Get shuffled out to private shuttle to international terminal. Immigration officer and airline rep in tow. $50 bucks for boards. Not bad. Lots of meal/beer vouchers. Two nights, two redeyes... It must be Christmas. I stink. I'm tired. I'm buzzed. Wave goodbye to Customs as I go through, immigration sits me down for another spanking. Supposedly I can appeal the 3 year ban and try to apply for another visa. Sweet. Pad Thai, more beers, fun chat with cute English birds, tight polkadot tights driving me crazy on one of'em. Plane delayed an hour. Haha! Going delirious. Board plane... Oh god here we go, sexy Asian Canadian sitting next to me... I just want to sleep. She just wants to drink and talk. Smash more beers... Have a good laugh. Pass out while she's still talking. Land in Fiji! Find out flight home has been magically moved up 1 day. WTF?? All good. Big Fishermans Breakfast at Cardos on the harbor. Wash off stank. Sleep like baby. Surf pumping Restaurants and Swimming Pools tomorrow. All worth it.

Happy New Year from New South Wales!

Sydney Harbor Bridge Blowing up!

Already 2011??  WTF?  Time is getting rather slippery these days isn't it?  Yikes!  Well, the end of the world as we know it is supposed to happen sometime next year so I encourage everyone to quit their jobs, sell their house/children, book a flight to the place you've always wanted to go... and go!

The city of Sydney put on a pretty damn good display of fire power last night.  Burnt the bridge literally.  If you ever find yourself in Oz for the new year make sure to find a nice spot on the harbor and prepare to be Oooed and Aaaahhhed.  A few stiff Vodka drinks will help too.  Always does.

Happy Two Thousand E11even everybody!!  I'm off to do some very serious and important research in the art of hammock snoozing...

A worthy way to die...

As a surfer, hearing about a deadly shark attack (Last week on the Central Coast) strikes a certain chord in my soul.  No surfer alive hasn't been spooked at the thought of being fish food at one time or another. 

During my years exploring the Oregon coast, I came to the conclusion that being attacked by a shark is a worthy way to die.  Maybe it was just a way to reassure myself on those freezing, grey, murky days when I was wishing there was just one other person in the line-up to give me at least a 50% chance of not being dinner for Jaws. Or maybe I was on to something.  Being eaten by one of natures most evolved and powerful predators should be an honor.  Sure, you'd probably shit your wetsuit, scream like a 10 year old girl and go into shock before you knew what happened, but it sure beats having some knucklehead swerve into you head-on while he's sending some lame text to his girlfriend.  Or having a bus run you over while enjoying a stroll with your morning coffee.  Or even getting hit in the head by your board and drowning.

I'd rather come face to face with Mr. White and go down fighting in a pool of my own blood than die in some drunken trip down a stairwell any day.  It's the ultimate way to go for someone who uses the ocean to fulfill their passion.  I think it's a fair trade.  There's nothing wrong with dying while doing what you love.  The lifestyle of surfing is worth the risk... it's worth dying for.  So when I hear of a surfer dying in a shark attack, I think they should be honored as a sacrifice to the surf gods.

The Dark Side of The Lens

Whoa!  Amazing visuals and inspiring words...

CABO SAN LUCAS - Dirty 30 Sanchez!

I sure hope this won't be my last post.  Tomorrow morning a giant posse will board multiple aircraft bound for Cabo San Lucas, Mexico to celebrate three 30th birthdays(Mine included... shit!) and one 31st (Ol' Man Baldwin) during the following 7 days.  I'm scared.  14 or 15 of us all in one little Mexican town with bottomless tequila and swim-up bars, not the best combo. One friend finally decided to come just because he said he couldn't miss my 30th birthday and my death all at the same time. Hmmm... wish me luck, things are pretty much guaranteed to get weird.

And you may ask who the hell is El Miguel?  El Miguel is our mascot/tour guide for the following week of madness.  A drunk and blind Tequila worm, his family brutally murdered and himself left to drown in the bottom of a bottle of Tequila, luckily he was able to drink his way out of it and survive, but it left him with a crazy spiral eye that casts a curse on all those who dare to flip up his patch and stare into it. People have been known to get excruciating headaches from this curse, others have ended up naked in strange places with strange naked people. Go figure.

Aedion Aesthetic kingpin Kevin McNally was able to chat with El Miguel over the phone the other day, here's a partial interview: (The talk ended abruptly when a disagreement broke out between El Miguel and some spike haired, frosted tip, Abercrombie & Fitch wearing spring breakers over a bar tab, sources tell us El Miguel shot all 9 of them on the spot)

KM:
El Miguel, what would you say to the rumors that the tequila worm, is nothing more than a myth.

El Miguel: (In a very Raspy Mexican Accent)
I would say, do I look like a Myth!?! Look at me here, I sit, my eye burned out by fat drunken frat boy in Cancun... Spring break 2007... the last day I see. Removed from my family in Oaxaca and bottled to be sold. You want to talk about a myth. Lets talk about the Female orgasm... now that's a MYTH.

KM:
How old were you when you were taken?

El Miguel:
I must have been 7 or 8 weeks, that's like 27 in human years. They came through our village... pulled up our houses. I tried hard to bit them, but they took me away. Mi familia, I have not seen since. Now I have pistola, and when I find the men who took me. I will find my revenge.

KM:
Where is your family now.

El Miguel:
I do not know. My wife and daughters were most likely killed by Cuervo's Men, however I hope my son lives on.

KM:
You mentioned to me earlier that he had an unusual name and said there was a story behind it?
 
El Miguel:
Yes, yes he was born on the day of Black, the day Johnny Cash died. So in honor of Senior Cash I named him... [long pause].... Que? What the hell this??  They what? Put drinks on MY tab??? PUTOS... [several gun shots, dial tone]

-End of Interview-

The Studio

studio |'st(y)oōdēˌō|
noun ( pl. -os)

1. a room where an artist, photographer, sculptor, etc., works.
    • a place where performers, esp. dancers, practice and exercise.
    • a room where musical or sound recordings can be made.
    • a room from which television or radio programs are broadcast,
      or in which they are recorded.
    • a place where movies are made or produced.

ORIGIN early 19th cent.: from Italian, from Latin studium (see study ).

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

Studios are just rooms that crave creativity.  I love coming into the studio and looking at the chaos and aftermath of having days and days of pure inspiration. The times when I'm too busy to organize or care.  New paint drips and splatters on tools and tables, pencil shavings, paper scraps, old dried coffee in a cup, saw dust, empty beer bottles, dog-eared magazines, little sketches on random papers, pieces of wood recording the trials of new techniques, and works in progress that will never be anything more than that.  Love it!

Overpopulated

Snapping this shot as I flew into LA this morning, I couldn't help but shake my head in disgust.  There are way too many of us here.  There was a new show, Powering the Future, on the tube the other day.  I was shocked to hear that over 200,000 people are added to this planet EVERY SINGLE DAY.  That's factoring in all the deaths in the world too. Something like 350,000 people are born everyday and 150,000 people die.  We are adding 1,000,000 people to the earth every 5 days!  That is fucking disgusting!  What in the hell are we doing??  We can't even take care of all the ones that are already here and we seem to think it's OK to just keep adding more?   I'm getting neutered!

7 weeks of gross... I mean, growth

"...the male beard communicates an heroic image of the independent, sturdy, and resourceful pioneer, ready, willing and able to do manly things." - beards.org

"In the course of history, men with facial hair have been ascribed various attributes such as wisdom and knowledge, sexual virility, masculinity, or high social status; and, conversely, filthiness, crudeness, or an eccentric disposition. In many cultures, beards are associated with nature and outdoorsmen" -Wikipedia

It's got to be a part of every mans life at some point, a rite of passage of sorts. Part curiosity to see what you look like as a werewolf and part pure laziness. There's really only those 2 reasons why any man would grow one of these annoying things. However, once the curiousity stage passes it sort of grows on you... literally, and the reasons for keeping it go beyond just laziness. It begs to be stroked and groomed. It's becomes a simple, natural pleasure, kinda like petting your dog. It takes on a personality of it's own and soon becomes part of the family. But when you sit down to enjoy a nice hot meal and included in the first bite are several long coarse hairs that are growing out of your top lip, something needs to change. And having to suck coffee, beer and soup out of it? No thanks... time to break out the razor. But I did save a shitload on sunscreen in Indo!

Fun facial hair facts:

1) The study of beards is called pogonology, and the fear of beards is pogonophobia
2) The longest beard ever was grown by Hans Langseth of Norway, whose whiskers stretched an incredible 5.33 m (17.5 feet) when measured upon his death in 1927
3) Number of whiskers on the face of the average man: 30,000
4) The only guy without a beard in ZZTOP has the surname Beard

Mas Olas...

Some waves from last week
Dropping behind the peak
Green and glassy in the sun
Waaaay too much fucking fun!

Stealth Mission Home for Grandma... Back to the US of A!

A few snaps from The Land of Oz... Farewell!

Weird how, at the drop of a dime, life can change in an instant. I'm back home on good ol' US soil now, just like that. Got off the plane from Australia a few hours ago (and couldn't wait to inhale a giant plate of good Mexican food served by actual Mexicans) What a treat!

Grandma's in the hospital and I decided to cut my OZ trip short by a month and grab a last minute flight from Brisbane to come spend some time with her while I still could. Glad I did. And apparently she's doing better than she was a few days ago. Woo hoo!

I'll be here for a month before heading out to Indo for a while. Hopefully the waves will continue to pump while I'm home... I've been jealous of all the epic swells the West coast has been getting this winter... but not too jealous, I spent the last 2 weeks in Byron Bay and that magical place had me by the balls, literally... it was hard to leave... the hot sun, the beautiful beaches, the fun waves, bath tub temp water, ice cold adult beverages and hoards of gorgeous, young, friendly, international women. Man Heaven? I'll be back to OZ soon enough... there's still so much to see!

But it is good to be home after 13 months on the road. Time to recharge the batteries, spend time with fam and friends, take a break from the booze, surf pumping Rincon and paint my ass off! Can't wait to set up the studio and go nuts! And my diet will pretty much consist of a constant rotation of In-N-Out Burger, Mexican food and cheap sushi... and of course Pizza Oasis when I go visit the crew in Portland... absolutely drooling for it!

Thanks to all the people in OZ who made my trip great!

Roady Toady

Australia, February 2010

Life on the road
Hopping like a toad
Jumping across entire seas
Finding waves that only tease

Sunrise on a new East coast
New smells, new tastes, fresh buttered toast
Opposite sex crawling all around
Mouth is drooling like a hound

Warm water candyland
The sun, the heat, body’s tanned
Buckled board over the falls
Old trunks that rash the balls

Blue Bottles sting like hell
Onshores blowing them into the swell
Red wine all day into the night
These foreign girls are looking mighty tight

Inspired ideas fill my brain
Can’t wait to grab the brush and drain
The smell of paint and sweet sawdust
Vices and my life’s true lust

A few more Lilly pads to skip
Before the ending of this trip
Mind and body free to roam
To stoke my soul and ride the foam

365 Days... on the road

365 days ago I hopped on a flight with a one way ticket to New Zealand, some surfboards, a backpack and a plan to create a lifestyle that revolves purely around surfing the best waves I can find while still being able to make a living from my art and design. I'd say the plan was/is a success. It has since taken me to 2 additional countries, shown me the joys of sailing and living on boats, logging over 1000 miles on yachts in the South Pacific. The plan has brought me a dream setup on a tropical island, my discovery of the sport of spear fishing, a new favorite breakfast... Muslie(with milk, yogurt and a sliced banana on top!), the opportunities to swim with whales and sharks, lots of mindblowing scenery, amazing waves, many wonderful new friends from all corners of the globe, and much, much more.

But most importantly, this last year has given me a broader perspective on life and has opened my eyes to the infinite possiblities for alternative ways it can be lived. There are so many people living lifestyles that are so different from the typical scenario of: work 9-5, get married, buy house, have kids, live in one place. Several people on my travels have inspired me with their uncommon and exciting lifestyle choices. And now, I might be more lost than when I started on this voyage, because the more I see and learn, the more options seem to present themselves... it's beginning to get a bit overwhelming! There are so many roads in life but so little time to go run off and explore them all...

The Crossing from Hell: Sailing from Tonga to New Zealand

(Please sing out loud to the tune of Gilligan's Island... just do it)

"Just sit right back and you'll hear a tale,
A tale of a fateful trip
That started from this tropic port
Aboard this tiny ship.

The mate was a hairy Frenchy woman,
The skipper smelly for sure.
Five passengers set sail that day
For a 384 hour tour, a 384 hour tour.

The weather started getting rough,(54 knots in the face!)
The tiny ship was tossed,
If not for the courage of the showerless crew
The Star Dust would be lost, the Star Dust would be lost.

The ship was towed ashore of this fully charted Kiwi isle
With AaaAAbelllll,
The Skipper too,
The grubby kiiiiiids and the wife,
No movie star
No professor or Mary Ann(Damn it!),
Here on The Crossing From Hell...

So this is the tale of the insanity,
They're at sea for a long, long time,
They'll have to make the best of things,
It's an uphill climb.

The first mate and the Skipper too,
Will do their very best,
To make the others UNcomfortable,
In this patience test,

No fuel, no fridge no motor coolant,
Not a single luxury,
Like Robinson Crusoe,
As primitive as can be.

So be cautious of the French my friends,
And you're sure to live in style,
From Tonga back to Kiwi land in 20 insane days,
Here on the Crossing from Helllllll..."

Where do I begin? I guess first of all, it's damn good to be back on solid ground and it's damn good to be alive! After leaving the Vava'u Group on "Nola", we spent a few days in the Hapai islands, got barrels at one of the shallowest and sketchiest spot I've ever surfed, and ended up having to sail down to the main island of Tongatapu to pick up supplies, and so there I decided to deboard "Nola" in the rancid Tongatapu Harbor with a sniffle and a tear in my eye and watch Sam and Panapa sail back up to Hapai for the Sustainable Coastlines Beach Clean-up. I had to get back to NZ in time to pick up Brown. My new home on the sea was aboard the... Graine D'Etoile (French for: Star Dust) I was looking at 7-10 days max at sea and I'd be back in Kiwi land but little did I know, it would be another 20 days before I would step off onto New Zealand Soil and finally be able to retrieve my sanity...

Mission: Crew on a sailboat from Tonga back to New Zealand
Distance from Port Tongatapu to Port Opua: Over 1100 Nautical Miles
Common Time Frame: 7-10 days sailing
Vessel: Graine D'Etoile, 42' Sloop. French style, no keel and just a few movable centerboards.
Crew: Captain-Michel, 1st Mate-Anne, 2 Kids-Gaya(6) & Lilou(10)...French...and myself
Personal Blue Water Sailing Experience: None

I decided to keep a journal of the voyage...

Oct 12th: Left "Nola"... sad times... She was loaded with propane and fuel on deck, looked liked floating bomb. On "Star Dust" now with nice French Fam.... Waiting on weather and port authorities to head back to NZ. 7-10 day sail. Should be fun! ...eat burger and fries thinking it's my last for a while... boat is a mess, find out that auto pilot is broken, shit. might leave tomorrow AM.

Oct 13th: Eaten alive by Mosquitoes in my cabin last night... Not leaving today either. Steel cable on mast broke, must replace... raining... eat another burger thinking it's my last for a while... scrape algae off water line of hull... leak in my cabin, mattress soaked... wake up in middle of night to captain sawing plastic bottles to put on ropes to stop rats from coming on board. Might leave tomorrow if mast fixed. Auto pilot fixed!

Oct 14th: Not leaving today. Visa is now out of date by a few days, should have been gone by now. Spend 3 hours in immigration line for extension... refuse to give my passport back, captain must come and get it next day... dock for fuel and water... waiting on customs and port authority... Eat another burger thinking its my last for a while... weather window is now, looking good to leave tomorrow.

Oct 15th: Eat burger... it is my last!!! Finally left port today! Anchor at offshore island... get dive gear on and scrape rest of barnacles off hull... might gain an extra knot of speed now!
Set sail through reefs and out to open ocean! Finally! 15 knots on the beam from the East, beautiful day... good bye Tonga! Auto pilot broken after all.. have to steer for over 1000 miles with rear oar rudder... fun.

Oct 16th: Sailed all day and night... my watches are 3am-6am, 2pm-6pm and 8pm-9pm...switch off cooking and dishes... Love sailing!

Shit nowhere near the fan... yet

Oct 17th: Haven't spewed yet... amazing, feeling good... sunset and stars on morning watch were insane! eat lots of crackers and cheese... practice knots... headed for Minerva Reefs for a few days to wait out bad winds... have to stop boat and bob around, wait for light to find reef pass.

Oct 18th: Is today Sunday? Who knows... clouds rolled in on night watch.. sprinkles... could see other boat lights inside of reef... anchor in giant circular atoll with one reef pass... beautiful water... glassy lagoon in side... looks like we're here until the 22nd... shit. 3 other boats waiting too.

Sheet glass in the middle of the Pacific, Minerva Reef

Oct 19th, Monday: Beauty of a day... no wind, hot sun... dove all day with a ton of white tip sharks... so streamlined... giant sting rays, spotted Morey eel, some great coral heads, looks like Finding Nemo ...crazy colors and creatures... spearfished with sling, nailed 3 in about 5 minutes flat... dinner! Michel got a giant clam to eat... turned out to be gross... big fruit lunch... moved anchor...dead glass in the middle of the pacific! Lemon, onion and garlic roasted fish din din...Life is good!

Oven ready along with his 3 brothers

Oct 20th, Tuesday: 6 yr old Gaya thinks she is a white tiger, has weird purring noise... kinda weird...left Minerva today! weather got better, all boats left the reef... NZ Bomber plane 200 feet above water patrolling... got all info from all boats... number onboard, nationalities, port of entries in NZ etc... trip looking longer that expected.

Oct 21st, Wednesday: Cold night watch... what the hell? have to wear pants, socks and beanie for first time in 4 months. rough seas. hugged boardbag all night... wind too South... everybody feeling queasy... pasta and soup... 700 miles to go... would kill for: icecream, bowl of musilie, steak, coffee, real milk, beer... been on a boat for over a month total now... missing the Nola lifestyle.

Inspirational socks courtesy of the DDC

Oct 22nd, Thursday: Mindblowing meteor shower on night watch... 1-2 per minute for an hour... best I've seen, leaving long trails... intense bio-luminecese in water tripping me out... who slipped the acid in my drink? ...wind died... motoring now... made good stew for dinner... Gaya spilled it all over herself and boat... boat becoming really gross... wish we had fridge and more fruit...

Sunset on the high seas

Oct 23rd, Friday: Genoa sail ripped.. have to take down and repair.. wind is shit... motoring again... can't poop....heavy rain on horizon.

Oct 24th, Saturday: Shooting stars are insane again... ominous clouds... rain gear on... but no rain.. just want to sleep to make time go by faster... awesome sunrise... raining... sails up again.. over it... kitchen is repulsive... laxatives not working... I'm seriously clogged...lame... beard is getting out of control...cold and rainy... sails up... wind died... pull out Richer Drifter sail for light winds... doesnt work. Going nowhere.

Oct 25th, Sunday: good sunrise... motoring, sheet glass, like oil...check fuel level, almost out...WHAT THE FUCK! why the hell didn't they top up the tanks??? Bob all day like cork.. spinning in circles... distance: 2 miles... bad storm coming our way...10 more hours of solid motoring and we would miss it... just 25 liters would do it... Have flashback of Captain putting empty 25 liter gas can in boat at harbor and me saying: "Don't you want to fill that up?" Captain: "Ah nah, we won't need it!" I say, "Famous last words!" It's like driving across the states and not filling up your car when you go to the gas station... fucking ridiculous... my 10 day no alcohol and no caffiene cleanse goes out the window... find dregs of Panamanian rum... have rum and coke in sun... no more alcohol on boat... man-o-wars and crazy jellies EVERYWHERE.. no swimming... see some birds. Waiting for wind. Toothpaste almost gone.

Oct 26th, Monday: Froze my pecker off on night watch. Wind all day today... make good progress...bearing 180º - 200º. Caught a tuna today... fresh sushi at sunset, yum! Weather suppossed to get nasty... been on this boat 2 weeks today. Should have been in NZ days ago.

Sushi Dinner

Oct 27th, Tuesday: Weather is completely FUCKED! 40-50 knots on the nose...highest clocked was 54 knots... sea turned into a crazy mess... just froth.... big rips in main, have to sew... wind wrong... storm jib out.. electric compass malfunctioning... going East now... WTF? Have semi-sleep mightmares of Gilligan's Island episodes where I'm Gilligan but Mary Anne and Ginger are nowhere in sight... instead just a hairy french family...

Oct 28th, Wednesday: I finally spewed... Anne's been spewing all night... haven't slept in way too long, getting tossed around cabin all night and day... bathroom repulsive... everybody smells... no appetite... Wheatabix and cornflakes... why are we still going east, need to go west... fixing main sail again...leak in room... get me off this damn ship!

Feeling great!

Oct 29th, Thursday: Not making progress... can't beat wind, tacking on SAME coarse back and forth...days wasted... hoist main sail, forget to untie, rip it to absolute shit... aarggghghhhhhh... sewing sewing sewing... only about 150 miles to go... soo close... will this ever end?

Oct 30th, Friday: Shitty night.. rough seas.. no sleep... rear floor board has leak.. bail bucket every hour.. moving in good direction again... wind stops dead... pass another boat by few hundred yards, didn't see it.. could have been bad... captain decides we need to try to motor and we might have more fuel than thought... a full day and night motor and we could be in Manganui, NZ to find fuel to get to Opua for Port of Entry...we all stink and so does the boat... no shower since Minerva Reef... living in same cloths... motoring in straight line to NZ though!!! 48 miles to go! Beautiful Albatross drowned on hook while trolling today... bummer... another rip in the main sail are you fucking kidding me??? now? Lot's of cursing... strong wind in face again.. can't motor more than 2 knots... see other boat lights... frozen... hopefully get to wake up and see land! So close...

Oct 31st, Halloween: Wake up in middle of night to pissed off arguing French couple, tools clanking, lots of running around, no more sound of engine... just cover head with pillow and try to go to my happy place... I don't even want to know what's wrong this time... soo close...

LAND HO!!! Wake up at dawn to see the beautiful sunny NE coast of NZ today!!! What an amazing feeling that was! hadn't seen land for over 2 weeks... could smell it in the air...I can't wait to be in charge of what happens in my day again, where I go, what I do, what I eat... light winds taking us NE to Doubtless Bay... just take my anywhere.. fuck quarantine, fuck port of entry, fuck customs... thinking of just paddling my surfboard to shore and running for the hills... then wind stops ...OH MY GOD!!! Come ooooooon!!!.. tacking in circles... can hear radio chatter.. see boats, just 10 miles from the bay... captain is still working on engine... Saltwater cooling system broke that night, big leak, engine overheated.. FUCK... captain relays our situation on radio... he refuses an offer for a tow into port... thinks he can fix engine... no wind, ripped sails, no engine... and you don't want a tow???... entertain thoughts of Mutany... maybe just a quick push over the side, nah he'd just swim back, we're not moving... knife to the gut? Frying pan to the dome? Bound and gagged and thrown into the slothpit that is the bathroom then radio for help? yes, yes that's it... get a grip man... remain calm... deep breaths.. 1.... 2... 3... exhale... repeat... try to talk some sense into the situation... the wife is on my side... wait what's that on the horizon? A ship coming our way... get binocs.. read: CUSTOMS on side... WOOOOOOOOOOOOO HOOOOO... "Hello, we heard you on the radio and were in the area, do you need a FREE tow into Manganui? We'll have quarantine and immigration drive up from Opua to clear you guys at the port so you can enter NZ here" (Classic Kiwi hospitality) Captain: "Hmmm... thank you for the offer, but can you give me 10 minutes, I think I can fix the engine." MOTHER F$#@%&$##$$$K%%$#@R!!!!!!!!!!???????? ... deep red veil fades across my vision... try talk some sense... he decides to get the tow... red veil lifted! Life suddenly OK again... Arrive in port, use head while waiting to get cleared by customs, sunglasses fall in toilet, awesome! grab boards and backpack, walk 2 km to main road, make big sign on cardboard: "KUMEU OR AUCKLAND PRETTY PLEASE"... talk Maori art with cool Maori dude down to Keri Keri, stuff my face with fresh fruit at fruit stand, thumb out again... hop in tiny rental car with 71 year old dude with a lead foot and a motor mouth... "I failed the eye sight test ya know! Shouldn't really be driving... I live in the phillipines now, retired... pub crawls every damn day... young cute girls sucking your dick for 3 bucks at the clubs... I get a new girl to hang around the house every few months... it's great...they're not prude over there either... A few years ago on my birthday I walked into a club and I told a girl I'm 69 today and that's what I wanted to do to her... my daughter doesn't talk to me anymore... all my friends are dropping like flys... " white knuckles for 3 hours straight... so this is how it's going to end for me eh? After all I just went through? I'm going to be scraped off the pavement at some hair-pin turn... no way... not now... almost rear end every car in front of us... "here's good, thanks man" ... 11pm...soooo close... make a call... Rebeka to the rescue...dressed as a good witch...WTF? Halloween right... get back to The Farm ...peel off clothes... sterilize myself in first hot shower in 4 months... eat king size bowl of Musilie, bananas, strawberries, yogurt and fresh milk... drift to sleep in bed that doesn't move... and there's a nice tree outside the window.

Mission: Complete
Total Duration on Star Dust: 20 Days
Shooting Stars Observed: Had to be well intot he hundreds
Fish Caught: 5 (+1 Albatross)
Weight Lost: At least 10 pounds, I'm a skinny little bitch
Lessons: Learned

All in all, it could have been a lot worse, my life was never in any real danger, we didn't hit anything or catch fire and now that it's over, it's like it never happened. And the French family wasn't all that bad, they were really nice and we had some good banter about how much of a fuck up Bush was, life and the stars. Michel and Anne, if you read this, please don't take it personally, it's all in good fun. OK...On to the next adventure... South Island New Zealand barrels here I come...

Just had to throw in this Tongan beauty for good measure